Overly Cautious vs Overly Daring People
Survival is one of the most important evolutionary instincts. It is, therefore, logical to assume that during the course of evolution, many survival behaviors were developed. This essay focuses on "Cautious - Daring" behavior as one of the survival instincts. Cautious - Daring will be likened to a computer program that works automatically. Similar to all human traits, the intensity of the Cautious - Daring "program" is influenced by heredity and by environment. This essay will emphasize the positive and negative influence that Cautious - Daring characteristic had on human's ancestors, as well as it has on modern day individuals. It will also explore psychological methods of treatment designed to enhance the daring side in overly cautious people, who suffer resulting fears and phobias. The overly daring do not seem to seek therapy. Perhaps it is because they enjoy their challenges and receive admiration for their achievements. Since most cautious people tend toward pessimism, and most daring people tend toward optimism, the reader is referred to the chapter entitled
"Optimism vs. Pessimism"
on this website.
The Contribution of Heredity to the Intensity of the Cautious - Daring program."
It is reasonable to assume that the Cautious - Daring "program" exists in all human beings and other life forms. Its degree of intensity follows the statistic bell curve. 20 per cent are born overly cautious and 20 per cent overly daring. About 60 per cent are born with a
balanced Cautious - Daring approach. An interesting study was conducted with butterflies. As they hatched, researchers sounded a loud noise. Some of the butterflies flew away seemingly to hide from the noise while others flew towards the noise. I have not read any similar research with animals; however from conversations with people who have pets a similar pattern emerges. According to the pet owners their pets, right from the time they were born, tended to shy away and hide from anything deemed threatening to them, like strangers or unfamiliar noises. Other pets tended to approach the stranger and explore the source of the unfamiliar noise. No doubt, similar traits are present in humans from birth. At a recent visit to a supermarket, I approached young children who accompanied their parents and waived at them and smiled. Some of them turned away and hid from me while others smiled and waved back. From a young age some individuals feel brave and daring, are outgoing and
sociable. Others feel shy, insecure and suffer social anxiety and various phobias. To find your level of Cautious - Daring, take this self test:
Click Here.
Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. appears to have a similar concept to my Over Cautious "program" which she calls "Over Sensitive."
In her book "Very Sensitive Person" (1), She discusses the positive and the negative aspects of over sensitivity. She focuses primarily on the positive side. In her opinion these people have a rich inner life, many of whom are creative.
I asked myself, "Why did evolution develop the continuum from cautious to daring traits?" I hypothesized that the Cautious - Daring "program" contributes to the survival of the species in different ways. Further in the work, I will explore how this computer-like program is affecting modern day humans. But in order to gain deeper understanding of the concept, I will start by discussing, how this program contributed to the survival of ancient humans living in the jungle.
Imagine two men going out for a hunt. One of them is Daring and the other is Cautious. The Daring one says to his friend: "Let's go hunt the deer we saw yesterday on the hill over there."
The Cautious one replies: "No, that's too dangerous, I noticed a lion's den on the route."
"OK", answers Daring "Let's take a detour."
"But on the way around I saw snakes."
"OK. So let's take sticks and stones and scare the snakes off," says Daring in a commanding voice.
"All right" answers Cautious. "But we have to be very careful. You will approach and rattle the stick and I will throw stones at them
from a safe distance."
If my assumption is right, this instinctual "program" had contributed to the survival of the species. When it was highly intense, either, overly cautious, or overly daring advantages and disadvantages existed. The cautious group may have lived longer since at any sign of danger, they would have been the first to climb a tree, run away or seek the protection of their daring friends. However, they would have suffered
fears and phobias that would have made them reluctant to venture out of the cave. They would have been less successful at hunting so they and their families would have had less food, resulting in hunger and malnutrition and would have been prone to disease. The daring ones would have responded to any movement in the bushes with curiosity and hope that this would mean there was prey hiding there. Their daring behavior would have made them more successful hunters. In addition females would have been more attracted to them, because females instinctively are "programmed" to seek better providers and protectors of themselves and their off spring. However, daring individuals' life expectancies would probably have been shorter as they may have been injured more often.
No doubt this program still operates on modern day human's behavior. When it is extreme, advantages and disadvantages still continue to influence behavior. The overly cautious people take less risks, thus are less prone to injuries due to misfortune. However, they feel
insecure, tend to be pessimistic, suffer fears and phobias and avoid daily activities that do not worry daring people. The overly daring people feel self confident and optimistic and they tend to be leaders. Their income is higher than that of the cautious, so women tend to be attracted to them. On the other hand, they take risks that may result in bodily injuries and/or financial losses.
I assume that two other "programs" contributed to the survival of the species: one is the ability to remember past painful experiences and the other is the ability to imagine future problems. Buddha and his disciples, as well as many psychologists, claim that it is better to ignore past painful experiences and it is also better not to dwell on future worrisome expectations. The solution they offer is to concentrate on the
present. One of Buddha's slogans is: "The secret to a healthy body and soul is never to dwell on the past and not to worry about the future. Live the present with wisdom and seriousness."
Contrary to Buddha, in my opinion, the "program's" goal of dwelling on past painful experiences is positive. Its goal is to be better prepared in the future. The "program's" goal of anticipating future scary events is to prepare a contingency plan. Unfortunately, overly cautious people tend to misuse the program of recalling past experiences and projecting future events by continuously dwelling on them. This causes symptoms of stress, anxiety and avoidance.
My approach of focusing on the past and anticipating the future is supported by many western philosophers who think differently than Buddha. Following are some examples of expressions by these notable people:
- "Failure is success if you learn from it" - Malcolm Probs.
- "Failure is just an opportunity to start anew but smarter" Helen Keller.
- "If you want to double you success rate, double your failures" - Thomas Watson.
- "When something happens to you, you have three options. Let it define you, let it break you or let it enrich you life experience" - Unknown.
From my experience, the "program" Cautious - Daring is also involved in selecting a mate. Subconsciously, people are attracted to people with opposite tendencies. Women are genetically more cautious because they were designed to take care of their offspring. Men are genetically more daring because they were designed to be the major providers. When the level of the "program"; Cautious - Daring is not extreme, it is beneficial to the couple's relationship, because they understand and support one another. This allows them to work together, forming positive goals. If one of the partners is extreme, it falls on the moderate one to determine the success of the relationship. When both are overly daring, they tend to fight a lot. When both are overly cautious they tend to be reclusive and avoid normal activities.
The Contribution of Environmental Events to the Cautious - Daring "Program."
A variety of experiences may affect the level of the Cautious - Daring "program." A traumatic experience elevates the level of caution in most cautious people and may cause them to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). But in daring people a traumatic experience
affects the level of their daring in accordance with the situation in which they find themselves. For example an officer, with a high daring level, tends to be less affected from a traumatic experience than the daring soldiers under his command.
I talk to many people about the level of their Cautious - Daring "program" and how they perceive their parents' level as well. Some claimed that from childhood they tended to be cautious compared to their friends. They said one of their parents was also very cautious and that parent always had warned them against various dangers and continues to do so until the present time. Some of them even feel that they are more cautious than their cautious parent. Other people did not like the way their cautious parent behaved and said to themselves: "I
don't want to be like my overly cautious parent and I will never behave like that with my children." To their delight they succeeded in neutralizing the cautious effect.
In other cautious groups of people, who also had one cautious parent and one daring parent, when the daring parent was the dominant educator, they were encouraged to be more daring and experience more dangerous activities. As a result they developed a more daring approach to
life and learned to control their hereditary tendency for caution. No doubt that education, environment, traumatic experiences and culture also had an effect on the level of the Cautious - Daring "program." Other people I talk to, stated that from childhood they tended to be daring compared to their friends. Similarly, they have one cautious and one daring parent. Unfortunately, the over daring child tends to argue with both parents and it may affect negatively behavior with friends.
Society's approach to high level of Cautious-Daring "Program."
The public at large tends to treat people with high levels of the Cautious - Daring "program" with contempt and often calls them derogatory and insulting names. For instance, they may call overly cautious people coward, shy, chicken, baby etc. As a result cautious people tend to suffer social phobias. Daring people may be called reckless, irresponsible, aggressive, crazy, dare devil etc. No doubt people who engage in extreme sports belong to the daring group.(2)
Psychiatric approach to high level of the Cautious - Daring "Program."
In the psychiatric diagnosis, overly cautious-daring symptoms, such as anxiety, phobia, panic attack and extreme aggression are referred to as mental disorders. Medication is usually prescribed combined with psychological treatment.
Psychology's approach to treat overly Caution symptoms.
There are a wide variety of methods of treating people who suffer fears and phobias. Some are long term therapy, others are short term therapy. My approach is a combination of a variety of traditional methods, along with unique methods that I developed.
My clinical approach to treating people who suffer from the
Overly - Cautious symptoms (i.e. Fear, Anxiety and Phobia)
In the first meeting with overly cautious patients, they are asked to fill out a questionnaire consisting of 22 symptoms outlining fear and anxiety. They are asked to rate them in intensity from 0 to 6. (see chapter:
"Anxiety Questionnaire").
I also explore when high levels of stress began, what were some related painful experiences and what are future expectations that invoke these symptoms. I ask them if they tended to be overly cautious from childhood and whether one or both of their parents were overly cautious
persons.
I believe that knowledge is power, so I empower my patients by explaining to them how each of the symptoms from which they suffer, had contributed to the survival of the species (see chapter:
"Anxiety Helped Survival").
The goal is to allow the patients to accept themselves as normal, which is a critical important component in the treatment process. As I outlined earlier, I use the metaphor of a computer program. I teach them to understand that all the symptoms of fears and anxiety were programmed in animals and humans and it's the major part of our "survival instinct." I also explain the functioning of the sympathetic
nervous system that triggers
"Fight or Flight"
and the parasympathetic system that triggers relaxation.
A famous proverb says: "If a problem bothers us, we do our best to overcome it. But if we cannot overcome it we do our best to change our attitude to the problem." Many people agree with this proverb but they don't know how to change their attitude, thus the problem
continues to bother them. Our duty, as therapists, is to guide and teach the patient how to change their attitude and to see the issue in a positive light. I explain that the survival program was written for our ancestors in order to survive in the wilderness. When a person suspected danger by an unexpected noise or having sighted a prey or a predator, the sympathetic system would flood the body with hormones designed for high physical activity. Only a split second was available to activate the fight or flight program. If he chose to fight, he experienced emotions such as aggression and anger that support fighting. If he chose flight, he experienced emotions like fear and anxiety
that support escape. The action of fight or flight would take only a few minutes. If he overcame the predator or ran away, the parasympathetic system would kick in and relax the body completely. Similarly, if the predator won, its parasympathetic system would kick in and the predator would relax.
My clinical approach is to explain that nature affords us the ability to switch choices from flight to the fight mode and visa versa. Evolution did not prepare a program to deal with a dangerous situation when the hunter could not win, nor could he escape. My assumption is that such program was not necessary since a person who encountered a predator much stronger than he was, and could not fight or flee, simply perished. In modern times it is different. We sometimes face situations that are deemed dangerous and we have no control over them, like fear of flying because the plane may crash. My clinical approach is to have the fearful person first explore if there is any way to overcome the problem with human power. If options exist, I instruct the patient to change the initial choice from "flight" to "fight" and prepare an action program. If not, I instruct them to use their imagination and to deal with their fearful expectation in a manner similar to "super natural powers" as seen in science fiction movies. Throughout history, humans have used this approach to deal with problems. Evidence of this
is seen in all religions and folk stories of every culture as it is in literature and movies (see chapter:
"Visualization").
I instruct the patient to imagine that he is the director and actor of a science fiction movie. The actor is encountering a problem that cannot be solved by human resources available to him, so he solves the problem with super human powers just like superman.
This “Award Winning Animated” video, humorously illustrated exactly what is described in this chapter:
Cautious people and Daring people are unconsciously attracted to each other, and they support each other.
Cautious vs. Daring!!!
References
(1) "The Highly Sensitive Person" Birch Lane Press 1996
Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.
(2) YouTube: "People are Awesome";